When You Hate Your New Job | The Mental Toughness Coach - Chris Dorris

When You Hate Your New Job

I saw this article in the paper the other day. It was on the front page of a section about careers.

Don’t worry if you can’t read it. In fact, it’s really good that you can’t read it. Because it’s really really bad advice. It’s the kind of horrible advice that promotes victim thinking. It’s the kind of advice that explains exactly why 80% of American’s report disliking their jobs. And the funniest part is that this article was written by the same company that did that study – CareerBuilder!

Let’s go through each of the 7 pieces of advice, and I’ll tell you what they SHOULD have said (which is the opposite of what they did say).

1. Give it some time.

OK. Don’t do that. That’s the biggest mistake everyone in the world makes in creating a great life. STOP giving it time. STOP the useless weak act of waiting. Instead get really really really active in creating a career (not finding, or attracting, but creating) that fulfills you deeply and rewards you handsomely.

2. Be Realistic.

This one activated my gag reflex. It said not to glamorize other places. Yeah, definitely DO NOT entertain the thought that there might be something awesome for you in the world. Don’t do that. Why would you do that?

You would do that because masterful livers of life operate from the abundant mentality and know that they never need to settle. Being “realistic” in this sense is actually being a pessimist. The true realist sees no problem with reality and makes great things happen under any circumstance. Be THAT person.

3. Make it a Learning Experience.

I agree with that sentence, but not the way they meant it. If you’re going to learn anything from this, learn that you’re settling when you don’t need to. Learn to demand more of yourself and to remove yourself from that 80% statistic. Learn to activate your remarkable resourcefulness and learn that you were always capable of creating your ideal vocation and life.

4. Look at the Big Picture.

They say that sticking around in your crappy hell job might help you in the future because you might gain some experience. Are you kidding me?! Deep breath. No. The last thing I need is to expand my experience of settling and playing small and being resentful about my life. Re-read #1.

5. Be Good to Yourself.

I support the idea of being good to yourself. I fully support that. That’s actually why I ever write these message and send them out. I want people to be good to themselves. Their suggestions on how to be good to yourself is to make sure you get enough sleep, exercise and relax. – while you keep your crappy job!

My suggestion is to upgrade that by being so good to yourself that you go create a phenomenal life experience. And treat yourself to getting out of what sucks.

6. Know This Will Pass.

I love the story of King Solomon’s Ring and what its moral that This Too Shall Pass has to teach us about impermanence. (In fact, I love it so much that here’s a link to a great blog post about it: KING SOLOMON’S RING). BUT, they misuse this saying here. The message of impermanence teaches us to seize the moment! ACT!

I was listening to Will Keiper speak the other day about his new book, Life Expectancy: It’s Never Too Late to Change Your Game. He mentioned that after interviewing several people 95 years old and up, that there was a common theme in their responses to the question, what would you do differently. The top three: Take more risks, take more time for reflection and being present (not rushing through life), and investing more time into creating a legacy – leaving a meaningful footprint.

This will pass is right. It’ll pass before you know it. So take risk, take courageous action NOW to create a meaningful existence and a legacy that you’ll be proud of.

7. Find the Bright Side.

Again, they miss the point of “The Bright Side”. They think the bright side is to think about the benefits that come from your labor. Well that might be good advice if you’re on the chain gang. We’re not talking about how to make the most out of being in prison for your sentenced period of time. We’re talking about creating your vocation. The “Bright Side” is that you don’t need to settle. It’s that what you want IS available to you in this world AND that this world NEEDS you to go create it.

When you hate your new job, get busy doing what it takes to create the vocation of your dreams and the life you desire.


  1. Fred Blum says:

    ” activated my gag reflex…”!

    Damn that’s funny.

  2. Mark Feeley says:

    This is great stuff Chris…thanks for sharing. I just quit my 150,000 + a year job because, well….it wasn’t worth it in so many aspects. On to the next thing, no guarantees, no safety net …no problem!

    PS I look forward to talking with you.

  3. Alan Smith says:

    Is it possible that big corporation is behind the article? Trying to keep the little ones in their cubicle. nah-course not. Great comments-right on!

  4. Dave says:

    Leap and the net will appear!

  5. Mike Harris says:

    I’ve never been in a new job that I hated….I have been in a few jobs where a change in leadership and leadership style made the job untenable. Most of the time it’s a about leadership and leadership’s failure to recognize the value you provide. In my book ,searching out the right leader while you’re searching for the right vocation puts you miles ahead.

  6. Nick says:

    Having worked at CareerBuilder, I do have to defend that Gannett is the parent company of both CB and the AZ Republic, so while this shitty advuise says CareerBuilder on it, it was in fact authored by a Gannett Newspaper employee.

    With that disclaimer, damn that’s awful advice! Try taking control of your own life and stop settling for the status quo.

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