Everyone knows that the more confident we are, the more likely we will create excellence. Naturally, the more prepared and skilled we are, the easier it is to choose confidence (notice that language!), but even talent and mastery and preparedness do NOT guarantee confidence. We all know that certain student who always crushes all their tests and gets straight A’s in school but still freaks out with anxiety before every test. The ability is there and it is proven, but the confidence isn’t. Why?
Where does confidence come from? I’ll tell you this, it sure as hell doesn’t come from anything in the outer world.
Confidence begins with core tasks of perfect preparedness, talent is a bonus and mastery which are developed thru their execution off and under pressured situations. The more times you succeed at executing these core tasks the consequence become confidence or nothing more than self trust in your abilities to succeed.
Mastery certainly does makes choosing confidence a lot easier, doesn’t it, Coach?! And, even with a lot of mastery and talent, it still doesn’t guarantee confidence. I’m sure you have had plenty of students over the years that were remarkably physically skilled on the tennis court, but doubted themselves and criticized themselves harshly and that interfered with their confidence. So, fundamentally, confidence is the product of thinking.
I do agree that confindence it is a decision we have to make: However, along the day, comparing myself with others my confidence gets smashed. My strategy is to replace that comparison with others for a comparison with ‘yesterday’s me’. I wonder if that is a good strategy.
Agreed! Social comparison is a VERY effective way for us to smash our confidence fast. Another alternative replacement is to choose to fill your mind with thoughts of your recent (and not recent) super successes.
Chris, great video blog post on confidence. You are funny and you get many good points across. The bottom line is confidence is a decision. It’s not easy, but each of us is better off to not be naive, but to have the fundamental belief they are capable of worthy achievement in the moment. De-emphasize the comparison game and re-emphasize the personal excellence game from a view of belief in self.
We’ve been conditioned to wait for positive results in the outer world before we CHOOSE to BE confident in the inner world. And that’s a huge waste of time and life!
You’re so great, man! I always appreciate your feedback and remarkable support! Thanks, Coach Ben!
Thank you. I ALWAYS enjoy your bad ass wisdom. Was referred to you by Meredith Bell, from whom I have learned if she suggests that I do something, I should just do it. In a group right now with an irritating member that thinks self esteem doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter? What a horrible way to go through life – not being confident or feeling that you are worth it. I love your reminders to constantly up level – because when we do that amazing results are there seemingly effortlessly. However, it takes alot of effort to up level and have consistent bad ass thoughts followed by those bad ass results. Thank you again for being you and the work that you do.
Hi, Kristin! Thank you so much for this beautiful note and your gracious acknowledgment. Meredith is, in fact, a Goddess! And i agree with you – I am so happy to work my ass off at getting more Mentally Fit so that the creation of excellence gets easier! ROCK ON!