TOUGH TALKS – SURRENDER! with Kute Blackson

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TEASER & INTRO

[00:01:41] Chris Dorris: Welcome back to Tough Talks, conversations on Mental Toughness. I am your host, Chris Doris. And before we get to our special guest today, uh, our one housekeeping item as usual, is if you are not getting your daily dose mental [00:02:00] toughness tips and 30 seconds or less delivered every morning to your email inbox at approximately 6:00 AM your local time, wherever you may be on the planet.

[00:02:12] Chris Dorris: And if you are not getting my, uh, Tuesday blog posts, and if you’re not getting notifications of these new, uh, tough Talks podcast episodes, then let’s fix that situation, shall we? By going to christopher doris.com back slash lists. L i s ts christopher doris.com, back slash lists. Name, email, click, and all the goodies are yours.

[00:02:44] Chris Dorris: All right, so our guest today, this is really interesting. His name is Coot Blackson. And, uh, in my research for our, our interview today, I searched through [00:03:00] our email history and, and it, I was surprised

[00:03:07] Kute Blackson: to see that was like a little

[00:03:10] Chris Dorris: Christopher walking around. I was surprised to see that, uh, he and I had an email exchange 11 years ago.

[00:03:20] Chris Dorris: But, but it just like went, it just, I don’t know, nothing happened. We were introduced by someone, but nothing happened. So I guess that the relationship needed to ripen a Scot. Hmm. Well this guy’s fascinating. He just, he wrote this book, right? He was written a couple books, but this is most recent one, the Magic of Surrender.

[00:03:40] Chris Dorris: And his team reached out to me recently. Saying, you know, we’re familiar with your work and, um, I think that this would be a really great theme for your podcast. And I wrote back and said, you’re damn right. This is like perfect. So what a fascinating guy. Let me read you his, um, his bio here and then we’ll go find him.

[00:03:59] Chris Dorris: So [00:04:00] Coop Lacson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events. He organizes around the world as well as at outside events, including a fest, which I’ve been to. You’ve probably heard me talk about it. Uh, the Y P O, which is Young President’s Organization, also eo, which is Entrepreneur’s Organization.

[00:04:20] Chris Dorris: He’s a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, which is a select group of 100 of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. That’s amazing. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award. Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development.

[00:04:43] Chris Dorris: His mission is simple to awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their true life’s purpose. All right, let’s go talk some surrender, huh? Coop. Where you at, [00:05:00] man? There he is, my man. Coop, waxing. What’s

[00:05:06] Kute Blackson: up, bro? Thanks for having me, man. Appreciate it.

[00:05:09] Kute Blackson: Well, I am,

[00:05:10] Chris Dorris: I’m very psyched to, to have you. I’m very excited, man. You have been busy doing some amazing stuff, some amazing work all around the planet.

[00:05:22] Kute Blackson: Um, you were on the Larry King show. Yeah. Larry King, Dr. Drew Fox and Friends. I mean, a lot of That’s fantastic. I’ve been, I’ve been blessed. La la Larry King was a childhood hero of mine.

[00:05:37] Kute Blackson: Mm-hmm. Cause, uh, you know, when I lived in London as a kid without a lot of money in what would be considered one of the poorest neighborhoods in London, Southeast London at the time, Pham very dangerous place. Uh, my room, my bedroom was probably the size of, you know, someone’s toilet. And my bed barely fit in there.

[00:05:59] Kute Blackson: [00:06:00] And I would sit in the, in my living, in my bedroom, uh, with a small tv. And one of the ways I would escape my reality was I’d watch the Larry King show because he would bring on people for more walks of life. I mean, he’d bring on everyone from presidents and prime ministers and entrepreneurs and, you know, athletes.

[00:06:20] Kute Blackson: And it, it, it transported me to be able to sort of vision a life. Of possibility beyond what I was currently living. And so, you know, for a kid from southeast London without a university education, to have the ability to sit face to face with Larry King, and you could say, go toe to toe with Larry, I thought Larry King was gonna go easy on this young kid.

[00:06:44] Kute Blackson: And, uh, he just for like, I dunno, 15 minutes, he just kind of, uh, like a bulldog attacked me. He had no mercy. And I’ll never forget, uh, in, in, in the interview, I’m like, ah, he’s gonna be soft with me and, you know, proud of me that I’m here. He just [00:07:00] attacked and he didn’t even let me finish my sentences. I, after about the first two minutes, I’m like, in my mind I was thinking, yo, Larry, what, what are you, what?

[00:07:09] Kute Blackson: Like, what are you doing? They were down. Then I saw that this guy is a pro. He’s like, the, the, the silent communication was, Hey kid, you wanna be in the big leagues? Let’s roll. And he just started throwing balls at me. And after I understood that he was. Not going to soften anything to make me feel comfortable, but he was like challenging me to rise up to the next level in this interview.

[00:07:34] Kute Blackson: I just got with the program and I could see his brain churning. He would, he would ask a question before I was even done. He would be formulating an answer. Then I could, it was like in slow motion. I could see him formulating the questions coming out of his mouth. By the time I was done, he would ask the next question.

[00:07:50] Kute Blackson: I was ready, and about two minutes into it, we got into a flow. So that was a real, uh, that’s amazing. That was, that was a beautiful moment for me to be with. That’s incredible. Thanks for telling me that. [00:08:00]

[00:08:00] Chris Dorris: Uh, did you ever have the opportunity to tell him that he was the childhood Europe and all that you just said,

[00:08:08] Kute Blackson: so he got know.

[00:08:08] Kute Blackson: Yeah, but he but he didn’t know before the interview. He didn’t know. No, but he, he was so, I think, oh, he was so impressed with the interview that he’s like, oh look, I never do this. But he’s started promoting my book. You know, on the screen people thought, how much did you pay him to do this? It was not an infomercial, I swear.

[00:08:28] Kute Blackson: It was literally a real interview. But I think he was so touched by the interview that he just started saying, go get this book. And at the end of the interview it was like, that was amazing. And then I got to tell him and it was, it was fun. It was really fun, you know. Hmm.

[00:08:42] Chris Dorris: That’s really cool. You know, in doing my research for our interview here today, I discovered, I went back and looked through our email history.

[00:08:51] Chris Dorris: Hmm. We actually had an email exchange in 2012. Wow. Yeah, that’s what I said we were in, [00:09:00] introduced by someone named Coach Cherise.

[00:09:03] Kute Blackson: Wow. I don’t remember. I don’t recall.

[00:09:06] Chris Dorris: Yeah. So, um, I thought that was fascinating. And then we never spoke until today. I mean, we emailed, I emailed with your team for the last few weeks and they told me about your, your book, which I’m excited to talk about.

[00:09:18] Chris Dorris: But before we get into this, because this, this, you know, the, the practice of surrender, I’m gonna call it a discipline, is so central to my work that I soon as I read, discovered that you just written a whole book on it. And I thought, oh my God, we gotta get, we gotta get together. But before we do, can we give a little bit of your background?

[00:09:38] Chris Dorris: Can you give a little bit of your back? Like, you know, what’s an answer to the question? Hey, coo, uh, what’s your life about? You know, what do you do? Why are you here?

[00:09:47] Kute Blackson: I mean, that’s a big question. Um, is my background in that question are kind of connected, but different. What do I do? I don’t, do I undo, I, I. I undo people’s conditioning from the programs and [00:10:00] patterns that we’ve been hypnotized and conditioned to believing from childhood.

[00:10:06] Kute Blackson: Um, I think we’re all born free. We’re born whole, perfect and complete in touch with the pure essential nature of our being. But because of certain experiences which we can get into, we get conditioned, we get programmed by parents, by society, by religion, by media, that gets reinforced. And this creates a fixed sense of identity.

[00:10:23] Kute Blackson: And most of us, we end up living inside of a fixed prison of identity thinking that who we are is who we are, but it’s not. And the degree to which we’re conditioned, there’s the degree to which we’re not free. So I help people become aware of their conditioning and free themselves of their conditioning so that they connect to the true essence of their being and live that freely, powerfully, effortlessly in the world so that they can share their gifts with the world in the form of their purpose.

[00:10:47] Kute Blackson: And so, iCoach people, I unteach people, I untrained people. I unconditioned people. To help them peel away the layers of their conditioning. And so I started out doing that, uh, about 20 years [00:11:00] ago when I started out working one-on-one, maybe 21 years ago when I was literally a, a baby. And, um, this is before coaching was popular, this is before there was a life coaching theme, you know, there wasn’t much going on.

[00:11:14] Kute Blackson: And I started out of my own journey, which I’ll get into. And then one, one, I had no idea what I was doing, but, but one person came, another person came, and then I evolved my own technique, my own methodology, my own way of working with people. And then it just, people started coming from around the world to work with me in this sort of un coaching, uh, methodology.

[00:11:35] Kute Blackson: And, and, and it went into small groups and large groups and bigger groups and 5, 6, 7, 800 people in events and seminars and two books. And it just evolved from there. And so for me, my life is, is essentially about love. And my life is essentially about. Helping people remember that they are love and helping people connect to their true selves and who they really are.

[00:11:58] Kute Blackson: And [00:12:00] it’s about freedom. You know, the freedom to be who you truly are, rather than who you’ve been conditioned to be. And so for me as a young boy, I, I was a very empathetic kid. And this is kind of maybe where the journey began. Like, I was born in Ghana, west Africa. My father’s from Ghana, my mother’s Japanese.

[00:12:16] Kute Blackson: I grew up in London. I live in the us. I live partly Mexico. So I’m from everywhere, nowhere, you know, uh, I always say that the soul has no nationality, no color, no passport. It’s just pure beingness. And so as a young boy, I always felt, you know, I’m talking about age three, age four, age five. I always felt people’s.

[00:12:36] Kute Blackson: I felt people’s pain very deeply. I was a very empathetic kid and I didn’t know what to do with that. I just, I would feel you and I, and I just didn’t know I wanted to alleviate suffering in some way, and my foot. Some people would say I had a bit of an unusual childhood, but I think my childhood set the foundation for what I’m doing now.

[00:12:57] Kute Blackson: Although I thought that my childhood was [00:13:00] normal, I thought it was like everyone’s childhood. I thought everybody had my childhood only to realize it was not quite the case. Like my first memories as a young boy literally was seeing a crippled woman calling on the floor. She picks up the sand, the gravel that this man walks on, wipes it on her face and stands up.

[00:13:21] Kute Blackson: Week after week, I grew up seeing blind people see deaf people here. People stand up out of wheelchairs. The same man who said she picked up would look at a woman in a wheelchair who hadn’t walked in 10 years and say, Hey, why? Why are you in this wheelchair? Stand up. You are not sick. And he would touch them and they would stand, and somebody would come in with crushes and he would say, throw your crutches away.

[00:13:39] Kute Blackson: He would touch them and they would walk. And so, you know, this was normal for me. I grew up seeing this every weekend, every day, practically. And, and so I didn’t think anything of it. So I think in that sense it was a blessing because I grew up with a sense of possibility and no limits. This man was my father.

[00:13:59] Kute Blackson: My father [00:14:00] built, uh, 300 churches in Ghana, west Africa. He had hundreds of thousands of followers at his height. I call him a, a sort of, uh, African. Si Yogi, even though he wouldn’t call himself that, you know, in the vein of people that, and Sababa. But my father also had a huge church in London, and he was a very, even though we had these churches, he was a very mystical, spiritual character in that he went to India the sixties and had an enlightenment experience, yet kept his churches and helped people realize the sort of the Christ consciousness inside of everyone.

[00:14:37] Kute Blackson: And, and it was a beautiful, you know, uh, I think foundation for me, even though my father and I weren’t that close. And so my speaking career began at age eight when my father just threw me in the audience and said, speak in front of 5,000 people. Wow. And, and I had no idea what I was saying, what an intro.

[00:14:57] Kute Blackson: I had no idea what I was doing other than I kind of [00:15:00] disappeared and words came through me. Mm. Uh, age 14. Another pivotal moment was when I was ordained as a minister. And my father, you know, the type of character he was, didn’t discuss it with anyone, just announced the congregation. My son is taking over my ministry, he’s my successor.

[00:15:18] Kute Blackson: And what was interesting was I always wanted to help people, but I knew that this was not my path. My heart sank because I, my entire life was being scripted for me. My entire life was being set out for me my entire life. Everyone was happy but me. But I think like many of us, I was too afraid to speak my truth.

[00:15:43] Kute Blackson: My fear was if I dare to speak my truth that hey, this is not what I want. If I dare to be who I am, my fear was that you won’t love me. My father wouldn’t love me. I would lose his love. I’d be abandoned. I’d be outcast. I’d be alone. I, I’d lose the community and. [00:16:00] I allowed fear to hijack my freedom, and, and I didn’t speak my truth, didn’t speak my voice.

[00:16:05] Kute Blackson: I got ordained. I tried to rationalize and fit myself into who I thought I needed to be in order to get love and validation. And for four years went through a deep inner conflict and in a turmoil. But after I turned 18, and I think this was maybe a first moment of surrender in my life, I felt a profound calling to come to America.

[00:16:30] Kute Blackson: Um, because for me, America was the, the land of the free man, the, the America dream. But also for me, America was like a spiritual mecca. People might might say, what the hell you mean America as a spiritual mecca, all as a kid. I was sneaking into my father’s, um, office on his bookshelf. I’d read all of his self-help books as a kid, age eight, age nine, I started reading Shaq dga, Wayne and Ernest Holmes and Joseph Murphy, and Krista Murphy and O Show when Wayne died and Louis Hay.

[00:16:56] Kute Blackson: For me, this was my. Crazy obsession as a 10, [00:17:00] 11, 12 year old kid, I started reading Tony Robbins Deepak Chopra at age 11, and all of the authors lived in freaking California. You know, all of the authors self, they lived in, you know, LA San Diego, uh, LA Jolla, Carlsbad, San Francisco, some of them. And so for me, this was like the Mecca.

[00:17:20] Kute Blackson: And I saw a whole new opportunity and possibility and way of impacting people that wasn’t through church or religion or an organization. Nothing wrong with that. It just wasn’t my, my, my purpose in this lifetime. And so I knew what I had to do. I literally felt, man, that my soul was pulling me uncontrollably, undeniably in another direction.

[00:17:48] Kute Blackson: And you know, when your soul calls you, it’s not always convenient. And when your soul calls you, it doesn’t always make sense to your mind because the inspiration of the soul is not arising [00:18:00] from the conditioned ego logic that is based on conditioning, past experiences or linear thinking. So it often doesn’t make sense to the mind.

[00:18:08] Kute Blackson: And so when your soul calls you, it’s often not comfortable and you have no idea where you’re going. But I really believe that when you listen to your soul, and this is what I found, which we’ll talk about, you know, throughout my whole life, when you listen to your soul without compromise, you will always, always, always be guided in the right place with the right people doing the right thing.

[00:18:29] Kute Blackson: Maybe not what you most expected or thought, but it will end up being what you most need. And so I knew what I had to do and that was leave. I basically renounced everything, left everything behind. Took me four years of grieving and heartbreak to, to make peace with the fact I may never have a relationship with my father.

[00:18:48] Kute Blackson: You know, for a boy, this guy was iconic for me. And I cried, man, for four years. And when I turned 18, I looked into my future and I saw that I [00:19:00] could be successful. I projected into my future. I could be successful following the expected path, taking over my father’s church, becoming the next guy, using this as a platform to build.

[00:19:11] Kute Blackson: But if I didn’t have my soul, if I didn’t have my integrity, if I didn’t have my truth, if I didn’t have my own, if I couldn’t look myself in the mirror, what, what kind of success is that? That you cannot be truly fulfilled and happy living someone else’s life or being someone that you are not. And if I lied to myself now, I would have to live this life for the rest of my life.

[00:19:37] Kute Blackson: And that felt so painful that I felt like I didn’t have a choice. And, and so long story short, I, uh, had the conversation with my father. We didn’t speak for two years, two and a half years. It was pretty heartbreaking. And longer story short, uh, I ended up winning a green card in the green card lottery.

[00:19:58] Kute Blackson: And that’s what [00:20:00] enabled me to come to the US as an 18 year old kid, man, that Los Angeles, California, to pursue my dream with two suitcases, $800 in my pocket. And you know, one in the country. When I told my father, I felt like I was just suspended in midair, in the, in, in, in the abyss. And I just said this prayer and I said, God, you’ve given me this vision.

[00:20:21] Kute Blackson: You’ve given me this dream, but I have no freaking idea where I’m going now. And that’s why I always tell people, you don’t have to know where you’re going to get to exactly where you need to be. There is an intelligence, a consciousness that knows exactly what to do if you just follow it. You know, it’s, to me, this is the intelligence of life itself, and that’s when.

[00:20:43] Kute Blackson: Someone had me, a magazine called The Economist, and I was just following the clues. And that’s when I won the green card a few months later and showed up in the, went and found many of the teachers Chopra and you know, knocked on their doors, Jack Canfield and harassed them and learned from them. And after a couple of years of being in the US I [00:21:00] wanted more.

[00:21:00] Kute Blackson: I was tired as a young kid. I was tired of reading the books. I was tired of reading someone else’s knowledge and information. I was tired of hearing about how this person got enlightened and this person felt happy and free. And this gandy felt peace. I’m like, it’s great for that person. It’s great for Deepak.

[00:21:18] Kute Blackson: It’s great for Gandy, but I want to know truth. I want to know God, I want to know reality. And I said this prayer again, and I said, okay, universe, God, like I want to know truth. Show me what to do. And I had some disappointment in my, in my life at that time, which we, that’s a whole nother story. But that drove me to question, and I heard this voice that said, pack up everything.

[00:21:42] Kute Blackson: Broke up with my girlfriend, put everything in storage, sold off everything. And I said, I’m not coming back to the US until I find certain answers. And I ended up months of traveling. I walked the Camino in northern Spain for 28 days. I went to Thailand’s, shaped my head, studied with monks. I went to Israel, studied with [00:22:00] rabbis.

[00:22:00] Kute Blackson: Ended up in India and it was my few months in India. That really cracked me open to another level of just understanding my true nature and why I’m here on this planet. And, and it gave me a direct experience of just what I’ve always been, you know, and, and, and that’s what inspired me to come back to the US with a whole new vision.

[00:22:24] Kute Blackson: And that’s when, as a young kid, I started working with people, you know, one-on-one. And, uh, it just evolved from there. So that, that’s a bit of the, the background that’s so boring. That you couldn’t come up with that.

[00:22:38] Chris Dorris: At least you could make up some interesting stuff that’s ridiculously amazing. Oh, thanks.

[00:22:43] Chris Dorris: Where? Thank you for all man. I don’t know if you noticed, but you had me in rapture right there, man. That that’s, that’s fascinating. What a what? A what a phenomenal history. What a remarkably fascinating history. And you tell it beautifully. Where were you in India? [00:23:00]

[00:23:00] Kute Blackson: Wow. The first time I’ve been to India at this point, maybe 40 times.

[00:23:04] Kute Blackson: The fir 40. 40. 40, yeah. Uh, I, I would say, At least 38, maybe couple off. Good, but give or take, right? Sure. But, but the first time I went to, where did I go? I went straight to Delhi, then I went straight to Varanasi, then I went straight to Bob Gaia, where the Buddha got enlightened to spend time with, uh, an 80 year old mentor.

[00:23:28] Kute Blackson: Became a mentor of mine who was like a former disciple of Gandhi. Then I went to Caho, I went to Bombay. I sat with, you know, the enlightened Masters in the jungles of, outside of Bombay. I went up to Kerala, sat with enlightened and enlightened master there for like, literally two weeks sitting at his feet asking him every question on the planet.

[00:23:51] Kute Blackson: Um, in South India. Went all through South India, went to Kenya. Kama in the furthest point in India, went to different [00:24:00] temples, Toru, Patty, and so many different temples all over India. Just. Looking for answers, man. I wanted to know, like I was determined to not come back to America until I found reality.

[00:24:12] Kute Blackson: Until I found truth. Uh, so how

[00:24:14] Chris Dorris: long have you heard of the won this University, by

[00:24:17] Kute Blackson: any chance? Outside of I’ve heard of it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard of it. Uh,

[00:24:20] Chris Dorris: so how long were you in India that first time?

[00:24:24] Kute Blackson: I think the first time must have been about three to four months wandering on buses, on trainings, on, on automobiles, on, you know, I mean, I, I, I had, I, I had the, the shit beat out of me by the universe, you know?

[00:24:41] Kute Blackson: And India has a way of finding all of your weakest spots and finding those places that you are holding onto for a sense of self-identification and control and just unraveling those. And India’s just [00:25:00] is a unique, she’s, she’s a unique character. Hmm. Yeah.

[00:25:06] Chris Dorris: So I love, I, I saw on your website, and you just said it a few minutes ago when I asked you what you do, you said, I don’t do, I undo.

[00:25:15] Chris Dorris: And on your website, on the coaching page, it says, since you’re, you just said this verbatim, since you are already whole, perfect and complete. I don’t coach you. iCoach you. Yes, I unteach, I untrain, I uncondition you and I studied briefly at, at that place called ES University in India. And, and you know, everything that I took away could be summarized by the practice of freeing ourselves from the conditioning of our past so that we can experience reality as it is, as opposed to through the thick lenses of our conditioning.

[00:25:49] Chris Dorris: Cool. Yep. You mentioned, um, in the beginning when you were talking about that, You know, talking about all the conditioning of our past and in one of your videos, a clip of [00:26:00] you doing a keynote, you know, have a piece of paper and you’re crumpling it up, you know, so you, yeah, yeah. You get to know and, and it’s like, it’s like you’re this piece of paper, but, well, I don’t wanna ruin this one, cuz these are all my notes for you, Uhhuh.

[00:26:11] Chris Dorris: You know, it’s like we, you use it as a metaphor, you know, it gets crumpled up and then it’s small and it’s not who we are anymore. Can you give us some

[00:26:18] Kute Blackson: Yes. Great examples of what you mean. Let me by, by the, let me set. Yeah, let, lemme set the context first just so that, you know, we’re, we’re all kind of synchronized together, you know, like, look, we’re, to me, we’re all born whole perfect and complete.

[00:26:33] Kute Blackson: If you look at a child when we’re born, we’re like in touch with the infinite. We are. We’ve just down, down, we’ve just come through a portal and we are, we’re pure, you know, and I think that’s why whenever we look at a child. No matter who we are, you could be the most hardened criminal. If you look at a child, you freaking melt because you, we are reminded of what we were, we were all [00:27:00] that once pure, essential, being open, vulnerable, surrendered, alive, you know, pure consciousness.

[00:27:09] Kute Blackson: And so what the hell happened to us, man? Like what? That like, like life happened. And so here we were whole perfect, complete, pure, alive, essential essence. We incarnate into this human experience. We meet our parents. God bless them. You know, our parents, they’re interesting characters. You know, mom and dad, they’re interesting and, and they’re doing the best that they know how to do based on their conditioning.

[00:27:35] Kute Blackson: And their grandparents. And their parents. And their parents and you know. So now here we are, these pure beings. We incon into the human experience. We’re born into a preset pattern of conditioning, generational patterns, secrets conditioning, generational belief systems and ideologies. And now we’re born into that structure.

[00:27:55] Kute Blackson: As a energetic, and maybe, maybe dad is crazy, maybe mom is [00:28:00] an alcoholic, maybe. Maybe they’re fighting all the time. Maybe dad wasn’t even around. Maybe mom’s not around. Maybe there’s cheating, dysfunction, pain, trauma hurts, physical, mental, sexual abuse. Maybe they’re great people cuz some might say no. I had great parents, I loved them, but they just didn’t know how to meet out emotional needs.

[00:28:20] Kute Blackson: They didn’t have the emotional intelligence, even though they were lovely and amazing or they just were working all the time. And so, And that was painful too. So two things happening where the conditioning process begins. The first thing is often unconsciously out of survival and protection, we learn to shut down our feelings because it’s so intense and heightened out here to shut down, disconnect, not feel.

[00:28:45] Kute Blackson: And so we start to suppress, suppress, suppress, suppress, suppress layers of pain, hurt, shame, guilt, helplessness, disappointment, rejection, suppress, suppress. And before you know, it lays and lays and lays and lays and lays, and lays, and lays and lays of unfelt, unprocessed, [00:29:00] unacknowledged feeling that we’ve learned to numb and disconnect from buildup that begin to layer up and sort of hide and cover our true essence, our true light.

[00:29:09] Kute Blackson: All of the unfelt, unprocessed feelings from decades cover up our true essence. And so now we, we don’t, we don’t even see, we’re not even in touch with it because we’ve numbed so much. And so we also develop all sorts of, uh, defense mechanisms. In order to protect us from the pain of feeling, oh, it’s too painful to feel that my needs aren’t being met.

[00:29:30] Kute Blackson: It’s too painful to feel that dad is not in my life and I need my dad. It’s too painful to feel that no one is around. It’s too painful to be beaten every day. So let me just shut down, go numb. Let me just overanalyze going to my head. Disconnect from my body. Let me just shut my feelings down, feel nothing, just go to zero and just not feel.

[00:29:50] Kute Blackson: And so we erect all sorts of walls around our heart and our capacity to feel as a form of survival and [00:30:00] protection. This becomes how we learn how to control life. This is where the pattern of control begins, you know, and, and, and so that’s one, one strategy. The other way is we learn all sorts of ways. To get love and validation and approval.

[00:30:18] Kute Blackson: Like who, who do I need to be in order for dad to love me? Who do I need to be in order for mom to love me? Who do I need to be? Oh, when I get all ass, I get more love. When I’m, when I’m nice, I get more. When I, when I, when I’m loud, I don’t get as much love. You know, boys should don’t cry. God should be seen and not heard.

[00:30:35] Kute Blackson: And so we start, I, I learned to become, you know, being the preacher’s, healers, minister, son, to be the nice boy, to be the perfect son, to be the responsible one, right? To, to be very square and, and take care of everyone, right? Couldn’t just be, couldn’t just be in touch with my human feelings because I was representing my father and the holy and the spiritual.

[00:30:57] Kute Blackson: And so we learned how to [00:31:00] betray. Often unconsciously, we learned to betray and disconnect from parts of ourselves in order to be accepted, in order to be validated, in order to be loved. And we develop a role, a role, a mask, a persona, becoming who we think we need to be to get love validation, approval. And we learn how to go into the, into the world this way.

[00:31:23] Kute Blackson: And often it works for us when we’re five and when we’re 10, and when we’re 15, and when we’re 18. But often many of the roles, masks and personas that we learn to develop in, in order to become, to get love validation approval, end up limiting us. As we get older. They end up getting in the way of the full expression and the full range of our capacity to be who we are because we’ve learned to suppress 80% of ourselves to develop this, 20% of ourselves to show this face of the world, to get the love validation approval.

[00:31:52] Kute Blackson: So now most of us, we end up becoming the version of ourselves that we think we need to be. We contort ourselves into a certain shape [00:32:00] to become this person. We hold so tightly to this way of being. And we end up thinking that who we’ve become is who we are. Not realizing that who we, who we’ve become is not who we really are.

[00:32:12] Kute Blackson: It’s just what we’ve been conditioned to be. But we think it’s who we are now. We, we we’re holding, we’re so identified with the version of ourselves, the person of ourselves that we’ve become, that we’re now living of a prison of identity, a prison of, shall we say, uh, conditioning the, the, the identified self or version that we’ve become.

[00:32:33] Kute Blackson: This is ego. The degree to which we are conditioned is the degree to which we’re not free. We often say we have free will. No, we don’t. The degree to which we’re conditioned, we’re just playing out, living out the, the pre-program conditioning of our past and our traumas. Not realizing that, thinking that we’re choosing, but we’re not.

[00:32:51] Kute Blackson: We’re being chosen from, we’re being chosen by, by our past. And so ego is [00:33:00] the set, the degree to which we identified. With this version of ourselves, ego is what we mistakenly believe ourselves to be based on. Past experiences, everything I’ve expressed, conditioning, history, memories, you know, religion, parents, society that we, we identify as ego is identification.

[00:33:19] Kute Blackson: And so ego is not what we are, it’s just condition patterns. Ego is not even a thing. Ego is a process. It’s a process of identification. And the degree to which we believe ourselves to be this persona. And most of us, we will say, no, no, this is just who I am. I’m just this way. This is just who I am. This is just me.

[00:33:45] Kute Blackson: Well, we have, the question is who I am, who I really am, or is it just who I’ve been conditioned to be? Mm-hmm. And so the ego, which we mistakenly believe ourselves to be gets reinforced by life, society, media programming, [00:34:00] social media, life. The job of the ego is to reinforce your, your, your existence. The job of the ego is to reinforce your existence, your identity, and the job of the ego is to protect you from getting hurt like you were hurt back then.

[00:34:21] Kute Blackson: So the, the ego is well intended. It’s well intended. It means well, it has a positive intention. It’s just limiting. And so I think you see, the ego doesn’t want to change. The ego wants everyone else to change, and it doesn’t want to change. This is why change, transformation, healing, breakthroughs, surrender, which we can get into yes, can be and feel so difficult, feels, which is why many times we resist change.

[00:34:56] Kute Blackson: We resist reinventing ourselves. We resist. [00:35:00] The ego doesn’t wanna question because questioning means change. And so the ego wants everything and everyone else to change, but it doesn’t wanna change because not changing and holding onto what we are is a form of self-preservation. This is why we resist change and we resist surrender.

[00:35:14] Kute Blackson: So for the ego surrender yep. Feels like, feels like a death. And that’s why we resist, say a death. That’s why a death. A death of what we believe ourselves to be, not what we are, just what we’ve been mistakenly conditioned to believe ourselves to be. And the degree to which we start realizing, oh, I’m not the ego, I’m not my beliefs, I’m not my ideas, I’m not my thoughts, I’m not these, the, the, these, these voices in my head.

[00:35:44] Kute Blackson: I’m not these the, these values that I hold onto. Ah, then if I’m not that, who am I? So that’s, we have to start questioning, well, who the hell am I if I’m not this, this, this, this, and everything I’ve been conditioned and everything I’m holding on to myself as. Who am I [00:36:00] and what am I and who would I be and what would I be if I didn’t believe these, the, the, these ideas?

[00:36:05] Kute Blackson: Who would I be and what would I be and what is the real essence of, of, of who I am? And so when we can start realizing, it’s just one thing I’ll say, when we can start realizing that we are not these condition patterns. Yeah, these condition patterns. So just reactions to certain things that have happened and they’re conditioned reactions to certain things that have happened to protect us.

[00:36:25] Kute Blackson: When we notice that, we realize that we can, man, the goal is not to force yourself into change or to beat yourself up into change. When you can understand that the ego, which is not even real, but is a set pattern of conditioning, it is trying to protect you. It means well then you can start to change and shift your relationship to ego.

[00:36:50] Kute Blackson: You don’t have to destroy it, you don’t have to kill it. You don’t have to annihilate it. In fact, ego’s not even real. It’s a condition, it’s a [00:37:00] process. What’s the verb? It’s not a

[00:37:01] Chris Dorris: violation. Killing, what’s the verb?

[00:37:04] Kute Blackson: Yeah. The, you, you, you, we have to learn how to shift our relationship with ego. When we can shift our relationship with, see, the ego wants a fight because the more you fight ego, the more you reinforce this existence.

[00:37:20] Kute Blackson: But the more you can shift your relationship with ego, ego is not the enemy. This is a mistake. Ego is not the enemy. Ego is a, is a process like, like a bicycle is a thing. Pedaling is a process. And so when you realize that peddling is not an actual thing, it’s a process. We have to start shifting how we relate to ego, and when we can meet ego with compassion and with loving, with compassion, and with loving.

[00:37:56] Kute Blackson: Then there’s no fight, then [00:38:00] there’s no resistance. Okay. We are no longer resisting ego. Then ego can relax. That’s then ego can soften. Then ego can just kind of wither. You can’t get rid of ego with ego. The more you get rid of ego with ego, the more you condition ego into being. And so the more you can just develop a relationship with it, the more it loses its gripping to relax and soften and the more spaciousness there is.

[00:38:30] Kute Blackson: Anyway, I’ll stop there, but I can say,

[00:38:33] Chris Dorris: uh, Chinese principal,

[00:38:35] Kute Blackson: wwe. Okay. Are you familiar with that? Yes. Leete,

[00:38:40] Chris Dorris: yes. Right, right. Not forcing shit. Working with like Tai Chi Chiwan. Yes. So, all right, so let’s segue now. Not segue. Yeah, segue, whatever. Just continue and let’s get into some practice. Like give, let’s give the tribe some, some real, uh, I think we’ve done, you have done a phenomenal job of creating the context here.

[00:38:59] Chris Dorris: So now of [00:39:00] all the things you could have chosen to write a 264 page, why is it surrender? Cause I’m, I’m assuming that the, this is like, okay, so the question after all of that is like, okay, so how do I change my relationship with Eagle? How do I, what’s the how here, man? Gimme something to do. Like how do I Yeah, but fir, but, but how we free ourselves from a

[00:39:21] Kute Blackson: condition first.

[00:39:23] Kute Blackson: Yes, I will answer that question, but first I think we have to also shift our relationship with the question, because when you can realize that that ego isn’t real and understand that it can change your relationship to it, and the more you can shift your relationship to it, the, the, the, the energy shifts, the more you can actually just.

[00:39:44] Kute Blackson: Love yourself through and meet yourself with compassion and, and surrender begins to happen. Surrender begins to happen in the process of holding yourself and holding your resistance and [00:40:00] holding your ego with love and compassion. That’s, you could say, the bigger context of the how. Now, what I will say is this,

[00:40:13] Kute Blackson: one of the ways we keep ourselves stuck, one of the ways we stay stuck in ego, one of the ways we stay stuck in resistance, because first, we’re often unconscious. Then when we’re unconscious, we move into denial, and these are all ego defense strategies from surrender. Then we move from unconscious to denial.

[00:40:32] Kute Blackson: Then we move into resistance, then we move into negotiation. But the, the, the, the resistance face in this process and the trajectory, one of the things that keeps us stuck from transforming, from changing, from surrendering are all the ways that we lie to ourselves. See, ego doesn’t want to change. Ego wants to stay the same.

[00:40:53] Kute Blackson: That’s how we keep ourselves locked into a way of being in a comfort zone. So one of the [00:41:00] things that keeps us stuck are all the ways we lie to ourselves. So if people are, where do I start? What can I do? I’m just gonna give people something very simple and very practical. Yeah. Look at all of the places in your life that you are lying to yourself.

[00:41:17] Kute Blackson: Start there. Where am I lying? What am I? We stay in relationships that we know are not aligned. We’re no longer in love. We work jobs that we hate or that we betray ourselves, we betray ourselves and say Yes, when we mean no in order to get love and validation and approval. And so to me, there is no transformation.

[00:41:41] Kute Blackson: There is no surrender. There is no letting go. There is no breakthrough without truth. We have to start with the truth. The truth will set you free. And so I’d invite everyone to sit with number one. Question number one, what lies am I telling myself and [00:42:00] get real and raw and relentless and sincere with yourself?

[00:42:04] Kute Blackson: What lies am I telling myself? What am I pretending to not know? The ego as a protection mechanism will sometimes play a game of confusion. I don’t know. I’m not sure. I’m intending to not know. What am I pretending to not know? Because the ego will say, and again, it’s survival. It creates a smoke screen of confusion.

[00:42:20] Kute Blackson: I don’t know. I don’t know Chris. Well, I don’t know if this relationship is right for me or I, I don’t know what my purpose is. We do know what our purpose is, but we’re deeply afraid. Ego was afraid that if I really put myself out there and follow my purpose and take the risk, if I fail mm-hmm. Then what?

[00:42:38] Kute Blackson: So it’s easier to just be confused. I don’t really know what my purpose is. Not have to take action, not have to take a risk. I can always have a future fantasy and possibility in my mind rather than take the risk and face a possible reality. So confusion is a protection mechanism. Deep down, we know, okay, check this.

[00:42:59] Kute Blackson: How many people [00:43:00] in the past, you’ve been in a relationship, you were confused. I’m not sure. Should I stay? Should I go? I don’t know. I don’t, the moment this went on for years, the moment you broke up with that person you told your friend, I knew that wasn’t gonna work. And I knew it wasn’t. We, we, we knew deep down there’s a part of us.

[00:43:16] Kute Blackson: That knows everything because at the deepest level, we are really honest. We are everything. We’re often just not in touch with that. And so what lies am I telling myself? What am I pretending to not know? And the third thing look there is you have to want the truth more than you want What you have, you have to want the truth more than you want what you think you have.

[00:43:38] Kute Blackson: To me, truth is real spirituality. Truth is real prayer, truth is real. Yoga. If we started telling ourselves the raw real truth about who we are and what we feel, our lives will begin to transform. And many of the things we go to temple to pray about to ask God’s help [00:44:00] for would vanish because we’re actually telling ourself the truth.

[00:44:04] Kute Blackson: The other thing I would just say for to people that might help is take the pressure off of yourself of having to take any action. What, because sometimes the fear of the consequence, if I tell the truth, what will that mean to my life? What will that mean to my job? What will that mean to my survival?

[00:44:21] Kute Blackson: What would that mean to my relationship? Often creates a defen, a resistance ego’s job is to keep you safe. So ego kicks in and says, no, no, no. I don’t know. I’m conf confused. Re resist, resi. The resistance is a beautiful intention. That’s why I’m saying don’t resist the resistance. Meet the resistance with love.

[00:44:40] Kute Blackson: Cuz when you can meet the resistance with love, like sometimes surrender is to just acknowledge that you’re not surrendered right now. And not trying, trying to surrender, but to just say, yeah, I’m not surrendered right now, and it’s okay. And you hold and you just meet your resistance with like, I’m resisting right now.

[00:44:57] Kute Blackson: I’m freaking, I’m freaking [00:45:00] resisting. That is a deeper surrender than trying to push yourself into surrender when you’re not surrendered. I’m not surrendered right now. Chris and I surrender to that with total awareness. I’m not surrendered. And let me, because, because we’re afraid. Because surrender can feel like a death.

[00:45:17] Kute Blackson: Surrender feels like, oh shit, if I surrender, I might feel like I felt like when I was five. I don’t wanna feel that. And that’s so delicate. So that’s,

[00:45:25] Chris Dorris: that’s a clarification that I absolutely want you to spell out here in as simple way as possible. Because I was listening last Sunday to um, aga, right?

[00:45:37] Chris Dorris: There’s a group of people that’s a Sanskrit word community, and it’s what they’re calling this meeting. It’s a group of people. I’m gonna be interviewing the person who hosted for the podcast. He used to be the president of the Philadelphia 70 Sixers basketball team. And he is really gone, seriously, like deep and it’s amazing.

[00:45:51] Chris Dorris: I can’t wait to hang with him. But one of the people in the Sango was telling us it was former Army Ranger telling the [00:46:00] story when he was in Afghanistan. So special forces, hardcore shit. And he got in a bad spot. Now it, the Army Rangers have a saying, which I did not memorize, but it’s something like, surrender doesn’t exist in our world.

[00:46:17] Chris Dorris: Okay? There is no surrender in our world. There is no surrender for an army ranger. And they say it over and over. There is no surrender. Yeah. And the guy’s telling this story and he’s like, he’s, and he got in a bad place. He was away from his people and he’s getting ambushed shot at, you know, with AKs. And he’s in a tiny little like irrigation ditch, trying to avoid all the bullets.

[00:46:41] Chris Dorris: And he said in that moment, his life changed. Like he was ready to die. He didn’t want to. And he started describing the experience that he’s referring to as surrender, but not white flag. Yes.

[00:46:54] Kute Blackson: Yeah. Okay. So, so go ahead. Like, yeah. So, so, so I would surrender, right? Most people, [00:47:00] yeah. Let’s set a context again.

[00:47:02] Kute Blackson: There’s this idea about I, I believe surrender is the most powerful thing that we can do. Okay. That’s a good start. I like that. Surrender is the only thing that’s going on. Mm-hmm. If you think there’s anything else going on, you’re mistaken. Surrender is the process of life. The truth is, it’s not about will I surrender?

[00:47:22] Kute Blackson: Do I want to? Every one of us is participating in the process of life. You are in the process of surrender. You are born, you begin aging. At some point, no matter how well you take, how much yoga you do, how much stem cells you do, your body’s gonna change, your hair’s gonna turn, white hair’s gonna fall out.

[00:47:41] Kute Blackson: Things will just, you know, you can take care of it, but it’s gonna change. This is the process of surrender. And if you don’t believe it on your deathbed, you will have to surrender. So it’s not about if it’s about what life is, a process of surrender. So it becomes how do you want to participate in the process of life that is surrender because.[00:48:00]

[00:48:00] Kute Blackson: The truth is, even if you’re Bill Gates, Elon Musk, how many things go exactly how you want them to in life? It doesn’t. It doesn’t. It’s just life. Rockets blow up. Traffic happens. People die. We’re not in control of so many things. So in our culture today, there is this misconception that surrender is weak.

[00:48:22] Kute Blackson: Mm-hmm. That surrender is passive. Mm-hmm. That surrender is giving up. That surrender is white flag. That surrender is being a doormat, being a victim, being taken advantage of means you’re gonna be left behind. That if you surrender, you won’t manifest your goals, your dreams, your desires. That’s not very exciting.

[00:48:40] Kute Blackson: If you surrender, you’re gonna get less in life. I’m just saying no. If you surrender, you might get more. Maybe not what you planned, maybe not what you expected, but more. If you look like surrender is the real secret to the next level of your life, it’s the real secret to manifestation. If you look at the great ones, [00:49:00] So people think, ah, surrender’s weak.

[00:49:01] Kute Blackson: Well, Jesus, was he weak Buddha? Was he weak? Martin Luther King Mandela, mother Teresa, okra there. I say it and we can get into this. Elon Musk, uh, Muhammad Ali, Bruce Lee, at some point, they all in their own way, they all had to surrender themselves to a purpose that was bigger than themselves. They all had to surrender themselves to a mission.

[00:49:28] Kute Blackson: They all had to surrender themselves to the universe, to the divine, to to, to their souls deepest impulse in that letting go and surrender. And I’m sure many of them, their lives didn’t go in the direction that they thought that was a surrender. Right? I’m sure Mandela didn’t expect or want to go or plan in his journal to spend 27 years in prison, but should he have not?

[00:49:50] Kute Blackson: That’s where life took him and he surrendered to it. At some point, they all surrendered themselves to something more. In that [00:50:00] surrender, they transcended their human limitations. They tapped into another dimension of life, and that’s when life began to manifest through them. That’s when life began to use them.

[00:50:14] Kute Blackson: That’s when life began to come through them and a miracle through them. That’s where the magic happens. People think surrenders. We look at Elon Musk. Some people love him. Some people hate him. I happen to like Elon Musk as an entrepreneur. I like him too. Here’s the thing, surrender. People might think, what the hell surrenders?

[00:50:29] Kute Blackson: Elon Musk keep 200 million PayPal money? He invests. How many of us would just right off into the sunset, disappear? Never. That’s what I love about him. Here’s a guy, takes everything. He feels a calling. Tesla, solar City, right? Whate. What was the other one? SpaceX. SpaceX just every freaking dime following his vision.

[00:50:53] Kute Blackson: That’s surrender. I probably wouldn’t do that. And, and that was such a high level of surrender that, [00:51:00] that that’s how it can be. It surrender is to follow the deepest impulse of what you feel. So just to clarify, surrender is a letting go of control. Ah, okay. That’s it. Alright. Or I should say, let me clarify.

[00:51:14] Kute Blackson: I should say the control that we think we have, which is also actually an illusion cuz control is a master addiction. Measuring the need to control the, the need

[00:51:24] Chris Dorris: to control the belief that I need to

[00:51:26] Kute Blackson: control shit. Well, I would say the illusion of control. Like look at 2020, COVID, hit, pandemic, whatever we want to call it.

[00:51:34] Kute Blackson: Whatever we believe about it. None of us planned this. None of us were really in control. None. I mean, yes, we could see how we wanna respond to it and pivot, but it, we had our plans and life happened. I saw

[00:51:46] Chris Dorris: meeting other day said, relax, nothing is under control. Not, not

[00:51:49] Kute Blackson: really. Right. And, and, and so, It, it’s, it’s surrendering the need to control the illusion of control.

[00:51:56] Kute Blackson: It, it’s when we stop forcing, [00:52:00] forcing life to fit our, and manipulating life to be what we think it should be, and a relationship to be what we think it should be. It’s when we let go of who we think we should be. Yeah. Which is often based on our conditioning. Right. And our childhood programming and the, and the way we think life should be so that we can be open.

[00:52:20] Kute Blackson: Surrender is taking the limitations off of life so that we can be open and be available and we can be ready to allow life to show us. Who did you,

[00:52:31] Chris Dorris: do you know who, um, Herbie Hancock is? Musician. Yeah. And Miles Davis. So do, do you know the story that Herby Hancock tells about when he was fighting? You’re gonna love this.

[00:52:42] Chris Dorris: All right. So, um, For those of you listening or watching that don’t know, Herbie Hancock is badass, uh, keyboardist. And Miles Davis is one of the best trumpeters in history. Jazz, bad asses, both of ’em. So Miles is playing an event, an outdoor event in [00:53:00] Stuttgart, Germany several years ago, and he hears that Herbie Hancock is in Germany.

[00:53:07] Chris Dorris: So he contacts him and says, yo man, let’s jam come play with me. And Herbie Hancock’s

[00:53:11] Kute Blackson: like, oh my God,

[00:53:15] Chris Dorris: you know, miles calls you up, you’ve arrived. So he hustles up and he gets over there and they’re playing. And you can Google this, it’s on YouTube. You can just actually just search YouTube, Herby, Hancock, miles Davis.

[00:53:26] Chris Dorris: And it’s a five and a half minute clip of beauty. And it’s Herby telling this story. And he goes on to say that Herby was playing and he played the wrong court. Like he said, it was like so wrong. It was so wrong that it hurt. And he’s like, oh shit. And Miles pauses for like a second and then Miles is like, oh, hi then.

[00:53:55] Chris Dorris: Is that where Okay. And I didn’t see that coming. Let’s go with that. And he starts playing with it [00:54:00] like this way off tune and gets into it and creates, and then Herbie’s playing with it. And, and he said, Herbie describes this as a moment of where Miles because of his mastery and his, his need to not control his ability because of his mastery to surrender into what is he could crave from.

[00:54:19] Kute Blackson: That’s so, he, he turned a mis, he turned a mistake into, into freaking magic. Look for the, for those that might be surrender. Surrender. Look, look, I, I wanna make a point you don’t, people might think, ah, surrenders for like the yogis in India as the spiritual people. No, no, no. Every single human being. We’ve had maybe almost, maybe almost all of us, a moment of surrender.

[00:54:40] Kute Blackson: If everyone, I’m gonna challenge everyone in this conversation now. If everyone, if you think about your most blissful, not even the most blissful, but a blissful sexual experience you are with your lover, your partner, your husband, your wife, your girlfriend, your boyfriend. Just think about that most blissful sexual [00:55:00] encounter you love making, kissing, exchanging, and it was, it was, you just loved it, right?

[00:55:05] Kute Blackson: It was blissful, it was ecstatic. It was just full of joy and ecstasy. What made it ecstatic? Was it because you came to the sexual experience with your wife, with your husband, with your love, and Yes, honey. Okay. I have, I have a 15 page document for the next three hours. This is exactly how it’s gonna go down.

[00:55:28] Kute Blackson: Okay, honey. Okay. In about 12 seconds, you’re gonna move to the bed exactly at 90 degrees on the bed. Then a minute later, then you’re gonna lie down, take your clothes off, then I’m gonna take your socks off at 40 seconds in into it. Then at three minutes into it, you’re gonna kiss me on the cheek, and then we’re gonna move th Then we’re gonna move that, oh, don’t move this way, and then two hours later we’re go.

[00:55:49] Kute Blackson: Was that the experience? No. Why was that moment blissful? Because we were not in control because we, we didn’t know what [00:56:00] was gonna happen. We were responding to the moment we let go, we surrendered. That’s what made it blissful. Mm-hmm. Do we know exactly what’s gonna happen? Every single sexual encounter?

[00:56:11] Kute Blackson: No. If we knew exactly how every single sexual encounter was gonna go, it would be miserable. What makes that moment so ecstatic is we’ve surrendered to the flow of our partner to the response, to allowing ourself to meet the response in the moment. And so if we make love that way and it is blissful, which is part of why we enjoy it, then what if we lived that way?

[00:56:37] Kute Blackson: What if we lived our life that way? How much more ecstatic and magical and orgasmic would it be? And so you see the old paradigm, the old paradigm of living is all about bit of noise out there. The the old, the old paradigm of living is all about know what you want, [00:57:00] make it happen, force it. I call it the ego-based model of creation.

[00:57:05] Kute Blackson: Now you can create that way. I’m not gonna deny. You can set your mind and intention, write your goals down. But sometimes, here’s the thing, it’s limiting because whatever you create from the level of the mind, the level of logic, the level of persona, level of the ego is still based on conditioning, which is based on your past.

[00:57:23] Kute Blackson: It is limited. So you are operating in a realm of limitation and, and many times you’ll achieve a goal, a dream and desire only to realize that what you thought you wanted was not what you really wanted. It was what you thought you wanted based on who you thought you were. And your goals were sometimes projections of unmet needs from childhood and it will never be fulfilling Leo.

[00:57:43] Kute Blackson: Totally. And so the question I invite people to sit with in surrender, it’s not a passive thing. Like just sit there and sleep on the couch and No, ask yourself a different question. It’s a bigger question. It’s an infinite question that takes the limitations off. The question becomes [00:58:00] what is it that life is seeking to manifest through?

[00:58:04] Kute Blackson: What is it that life is seeking to express through me? What is, what is the highest impulse of what life is seeking to manifest through me? To create, through me, to podcast, through me, to, to, to, to, to write through me, to business, through me. What is the deepest impulse of what life is seeking to express?

[00:58:19] Kute Blackson: And then open yourself to listen and, and catching that vision. Then you can align your mind, your ego, your personality, your structure, your marketing, your resources, your actions in alignment with your soul. Now you are working in harmony with nature, and you are truly in the flow, and that’s where the magic happens.

[00:58:42] Kute Blackson: And that’s why it’s now you are creating in an unlimited way because your creation is not coming from your ego mind. It’s arising from a deeper dimension of your soul, which is not condition, and then you are taking action. But the key then [00:59:00] is you’re taking action. So I don’t want people to think surrender is, is just passivity.

[00:59:04] Kute Blackson: You’re taking action in alignment with your soul, but you’re not attaching to the outcome. You’re not atal attaching to the result. You’re staying open and allowing life to show you, allowing life to guide you. And that’s the key. We all want magic, but we don’t wanna surrender. But the code is, if you want more magic, more joy, more abundance in your life, surrender is the key.

[00:59:26] Kute Blackson: Oh, so

[00:59:27] Chris Dorris: perfect. So perfect. Yeah. Several times throughout our conversation today, you know, uh, former incarnation of my vocation was I was working exclusively with competitive athletes. And you said the word flow a few minutes ago. And I’ll tell you Yes. So many times through our conversation today, man, I have had flashbacks of peak performance.

[00:59:50] Kute Blackson: Hello? Yep. The zone. The zone. That’s what it is. Blissful. It’s bliss consciousness,

[00:59:54] Chris Dorris: man. And it’s effortless ease. It’s, it’s, it’s perfection with effortless ease. Right. [01:00:00] And, and there’s, and so it’s like, you know, you interview athletes when they’re killing it, or musicians or anyone performing right. When they’re in the zone and they control is never a word that is used to descri.

[01:00:12] Chris Dorris: I was totally in control.

[01:00:14] Kute Blackson: No one has ever said that. Yeah. Because it’s,

[01:00:18] Chris Dorris: it’s like, dude, you’re not even thinking that way. You’re like, I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking for, okay. I don’t know

[01:00:21] Kute Blackson: what I was thinking if I was, but, but that’s the thing. Most of them, they weren’t there. They dissolved. They, yeah, they, they were not like the guitar was playing itself through me.

[01:00:31] Kute Blackson: The guitar. I was being danced. I was being played through. And that’s the magic seat. The ego wants to be the doer. Oh. Because the ego wants to be the doer because the ego wants to reinforce his existence. And one of the ways it reinforces its existence. Is by being in control. But that’s how we get in the way.

[01:00:56] Kute Blackson: Oh, so much. But the, but the whole, you talk about, uh, uh, performance, [01:01:00] athletics. Yeah. The magic happens when you freaking get out the way, not in control and allow it.

[01:01:10] Chris Dorris: Dr. Debbie Cruz is the name of a woman that’s a former guest on the Tough Talks here, and she is a, uh, sports psychologist and she’s been on all kinds. She’s just famous for sports psychology, research and practice. She’s been on 60 Minutes and she did work with Alan Alden, all this great stuff. And she talks about a research study where she got two, put two groups, two subjects groups, uh, both professional golfers.

[01:01:34] Chris Dorris: One was given the instruction to make as many putts as you can. The other was given the instruction, let as many putts just let the putts go in. And those, that, that group one with that extra, uh, instruction were the ones that made most of the putts letting, working with, well, this is beautiful, man. So I, I, there’s, um, someone sent in a

[01:01:53] Kute Blackson: question request.

[01:01:55] Kute Blackson: Okay.

[01:01:57] Chris Dorris: So I’m not gonna tell you who it is yet. I [01:02:00] think you know him.

[01:02:03] Chris Dorris: They wanted me to ask you about, Taking executives to India and taking away all of their ID and money and having them make their way around.

[01:02:19] Kute Blackson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. These, these are journeys I used to do. I don’t do them anymore, but it’s called the, the Liberation experience. And in 2006, I got known because, uh, after coaching for many years, I wanted to create something that had never been done before.

[01:02:34] Kute Blackson: And I got a, I gotta download an inspiration that I would, uh, take visionaries. It wasn’t just executives we’re visionary leaders, people that wanted to impact the world. And I would take it to India, and this is part of why I went to India 40 times because on top of me going for myself mm-hmm. Uh, I did 21 of these, uh, one-on-one experiences where I take you to India, I take away your passport, take away your [01:03:00] money, you have one pair of clothes, a backpack, no idea where you’re going.

[01:03:04] Kute Blackson: You sign your will in case you don’t come back. You write letters to everyone in your life in case you die. Um, I hold these letters. You give me full permission to create a, uh, basically a 14 day nonstop transformational, immersive process for you that is designed to help you free, to help you free yourself from all of the deep layers of your conditioning.

[01:03:27] Kute Blackson: We’re on planes, trains, automobiles, 15, 16 cities in India in, you know, 14 days. It’s a crazy process. It’s, it’s, it’s profound. And I did 21 of these journeys in about seven years. And, uh, they’re life changing, man, life, life changing. It’s what in, it’s what inspired my first book. Mm-hmm. And, and again, it’s all about freedom.

[01:03:51] Kute Blackson: And now I, I stopped doing the one-on-ones, but I do it in Bali and I do it in larger groups now of kind of the underlying essence is just been expanded into [01:04:00] a hundred people, 200 people, 300 people. But yeah, you know, we think we’re free. But the moment you take away someone’s iPhone and someone’s clothing and someone’s makeup and someone’s title, like what kinda freedom is that?

[01:04:12] Kute Blackson: And so for me, the intention of these journeys was to create experiences and situations that, that, that show people where they’re holding on, where they’re limited. That’s

[01:04:24] Chris Dorris: just awesome. I’m glad. Well, that’s from Becky Robbins.

[01:04:27] Kute Blackson: Uh, give Becky a hug. I will.

[01:04:30] Chris Dorris: So that’s, that’s fantastic, man. Wow, that was freaking amazing.

[01:04:38] Chris Dorris: Now let’s have people know, okay, yes. About all the magic that you are up to, man. I want them to make sure, let’s have everyone know everything you’re up

[01:04:48] Kute Blackson: to. Couple of things. Couple of things. Number one, uh, I would invite everyone just to get the book, the Magic of Surrender. It’s a very simple, it’s, I’ve simplified things in there.

[01:04:58] Kute Blackson: It’s all there. The gems are there [01:05:00] on how to surrender and find the courage to let go great pictures. So, so that you can, yeah, so that you can, this was not the book. This was not the book I thought I was gonna write, by the way. And that just goes to show you surrender that life, that life has other plans.

[01:05:13] Kute Blackson: And so get the book. It’s available on paperback, on on Amazon. Uh, the second thing is, I think if people feel, if you are someone and you feel a, a calling to make a difference on the planet, that you’ve been put on the planet for a purpose bigger than yourself, uh, maybe you’re tired of reading the books and you’re ready.

[01:05:33] Kute Blackson: To peel away the lays of conditioning, connect with your authentic self and give your gifts to the world twice a year for the last 10 years, since 2012, uh, 11, actually, I’ve done a very special event in Bali. It’s called Boundless Bliss, the Bali Breakthrough Experience. It is transformational, it is life-changing for me.

[01:05:56] Kute Blackson: There’s no words to express and explain what this [01:06:00] event is, but it’s 12 day experiential seminar training without walls where I use barley as the backdrop to facilitate an un coaching unconditioning journey that is just systematic and step by step designed to help clear you of conditioning and connect you to your authentic self.

[01:06:17] Kute Blackson: So it’s, it’s, it’s amazing. Where’s the next one? Uh, the next one is July the 28th. So

[01:06:23] Chris Dorris: this is going, so we’re recording on, uh, mid and mid-April. This will go live in May. Perfect. 2023.

[01:06:30] Kute Blackson: So there’s time. Yep. People can go to www uh, boundless bliss bali.com. That’s boundless bliss bali.com. This is my last year doing this particular event.

[01:06:41] Kute Blackson: I’ve done 20 of these events in 10 years, and we’ve had everyone from billionaires, celebrities, entrepreneurs, people you would’ve heard about, mothers, daughters, students, insurance agent salespeople, anyone that is just, you’re ready for that next level. And it’s, it’s, it’s a special, special, special journey.

[01:06:59] Kute Blackson: That’s one. [01:07:00] The other thing is my website, keep relax.com, all the infos there as well about my, my other things. My online, my online offerings, keynotes and coaching. Yeah, my speaking, your own podcast, all that stuff. My podcast is called Soul Talk. People can check that out. Amazing guests, people can check that out.

[01:07:19] Kute Blackson: And, uh, Instagram, KU Black and Facebook coo, love now. Awesome man, brother,

[01:07:24] Chris Dorris: thank you so much. I am so happy that that we reconnected. Oh,

[01:07:30] Kute Blackson: I’m glad. I’m

[01:07:30] Chris Dorris: glad. 11 or 12 years later after the initial email exchange. Yeah. Congratulations to you for all the beautiful impact that you’re having on the planet, and thank you for that ma’am.

[01:07:41] Chris Dorris: And thank you for this. Appreciate you. Appreciate you. You, you know, it’s fun for me as a podcaster that I ha during certain interviews, and it’s happening a lot these days. I’m very pleased about this, is that during the interviews [01:08:00] I have the thought, oh man, I can’t wait to share this with everyone because it’s like a cool gift, you know?

[01:08:08] Chris Dorris: It’s like I’m coming to the party with a cool gift and I know it and I know they’re gonna like the gift. So that was awesome. He is awesome. And it’s so fascinating, right? Because we initially did attempt at least to connect. I think it was 2012, so that’s 11 years ago now. And this, it’s, it, it’d be interesting to see what conversation happened then compared to this one.

[01:08:36] Chris Dorris: What a fascinating cat. Huh? I mean, so many, there’s so many mic drops in that, you know, um, since you all, you are already whole, perfect and complete. I don’t coach you. I unt coach, unteach, untrained, and unconditioned. You

[01:08:53] Chris Dorris: all right? Here and here. Here’s some. Here are the three questions. Well, before, let’s see. There’s no [01:09:00] break. Breakthrough without truth. Surrender is the most powerful thing we can do. I said, in fact, that’s all there is. And here’s some questions for contemplation. Reflection. Where in all of my life am I lying to myself?

[01:09:18] Chris Dorris: What am I pretending to not know? And what is it that life is seeking to create through me?

[01:09:29] Kute Blackson: It’s good stuff, folks.

[01:09:32] Chris Dorris: Well, thanks for tuning in to Tough Talks and as always, until next time, great miracles.