Move Toward

In my coaching sessions and keynotes, I’m constantly referencing the mantra, “Inherent within your desires are the mechanics for their own fulfillment.” Another way of saying that is, “The ‘How” is in the ‘What’.”

HOW my desires unfold into reality is pre-packaged within the desire itself, or the WHAT. So when I move toward the desire with the enthusiasm and abundant knowingness of a pre-conditioned child, I activate the mechanics. The mechanism, so to speak, is switched on when I move toward. Some refer to the mechanism as “the organizing intelligence of the universe”. Others call it God. Some refer to is as synchrodestiny or synchronicity. Serendipity. Whatever. Who cares what you call it. It works.

For example. When I was in graduate school for Counseling Psychology I needed to complete an internship. I had already spent years working for a community mental health agency so I didn’t want to repeat that. In fact, the reason I’d come to AZ for grad school was to specialize in Sport Psychology. So in contemplating what to do for my internship, I asked myself the question, what would be ideal? What would be the perfect internship? Well, Arizona State University had one of the best men’s golf teams on the planet and I wanted to work specifically with golfers, so I thought if I could somehow work with them, that would be the perfect internship.

That was my first step toward. Permitting myself to entertain the fantasy of what ideal might look like was the first step toward my desire. The next step toward was asking my advisor if that would be a possibility given the graduate degree specs. He said that it would be fine as long as I found a qualified supervisor who had experience in applied sport psychology and a Ph.D. and a few other things. The next step toward was inquiring in the other psych departments on campus about any professors with such experience and credentials. I found the perfect guy. And he was elated to have the opportunity to supervise me in something he loves and missed doing dearly. It was a win-win.

But I still had to see if the coach of the golf team would even allow me to work with his players. My next step toward was asking him. He said yes. (Thank you, again, Randy Lein! RIP, Coach!) I could start with the freshman and if that went well, we’d expand it to the rest of the team.

Well, here we are, over 2 decades later. I did my internship with the golf team. I spent 10 years after that on their payroll. And now I have the privilege of saying that I have coached several of that team’s alumni – many of whom are PGA Tour players.

It’s precisely what I envisioned when decided to come here for grad school years ago. In fact, it’s actually much better than I envisioned (as the dream has evolved into even greater things). And I can attribute this success story to one thing: moving towards.

Move toward your desires when you can’t see the path. Trust the organizing intelligence inherent within those desires, Move toward and witness the unpredictable events unfold that seem to be a choreography or conspiracy to assist you.


  1. Chris Stoner says:

    Mic drop…

    “So when I move toward the desire with the enthusiasm and abundant knowingness of a pre-conditioned child, I activate the mechanics.”

    I absolutely love that. The whole newsletter was good, but this jumped out at me!! I may print that out and put it on my fridge. LOL

  2. Randy Stuart says:

    THIS is how they should have explained the Law of Attraction in “The Secret.” Great stuff, as always, Chris!

  3. Rodney says:

    Love it Chris! Is there a way to get “the ‘how’ is in the ‘what'” image made into wallpaper?

  4. Mary Westheimer says:

    I love this. When I look back, I realize my dreams nearly always come true but seldom in the way I thought they would. Now I just move toward ….

    • The Mental Toughness Coach says:

      Funny how that works, right, Mary? It’s almost as if the Universe knows what it’s doing. 😉

  5. Renee says:

    I appreciate you, Chris. Thanks!

  6. Margie says:

    Chris, what you do, and know, and convey are golden.
    I thought initially you were just another motivator to get people to do do do and go go go, push push push.
    But you are much more, and remind us we are much more than our tired, confining brain patterns settle for.
    Thank you!

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